How to combat complacency
When I talk to clients about what is stopping them from achieving their goals, often I find they report some lack of motivation. Whether that is self-esteem concerns, negative self-talk, lack of engagement with the self and others, or simply lack of drive, it tends to most often boil down to some form of complacency. Complacency, at its core, is a comfort (or unspoken discomfort) with the current situation. However, complacency is malicious in the way that it keeps us from wanting to move or change, complacency can seem like a warm blanket, keeping us cozy in situations that no longer serve us.
So, what do we do about it…? Some ways to combat complacency include:
1. Setting Smaller Goals: When we’re unsatisfied, one of the first things our brain may tell us to do is to make large or hurried changes to improve ourselves. Often, we cannot meet/accomplish these large changes, which then lead to an even bigger dip in esteem. Instead, focus on smaller changes first. Looking to get more fit? An hour workout a day may not be feasible at first, instead, consider doing 10 minutes of an exercise you enjoy every day for the first week, and go up by 5 minutes each week.
2. Making a Menu not a Requirement: Having a hard and fast list of daily duties can make it seem daunting to get out of bed if you’re already struggling with motivation. Instead of having these concrete tasks, make yourself a “menu” of options you can pick between. For example, if you’re looking to improve your mindfulness, you may struggle meditating for 15 minutes every morning, instead, create a list of options that may include a meditation in your bed, listening to your favorite song with your eyes closed, drinking your coffee in silence, or stepping outside for a few minutes. When you give yourself options, your brain is more likely to engage.
3. Co-Opting Help: If you struggle to complete tasks alone, co-opt help from a friend or family member. Invite someone over while you clean, go run errands you’re avoiding with a friend, or stay on FaceTime while you work on a project. Needing less social pressure? Look up a “co-working” video on YouTube, where you can work alongside someone on a pre-recorded video with timers for work and breaks.
4. Self-Reflection/Self-Actualization: Reflection is key. If you’re struggling with a goal, or with fighting complacency, ask yourself where you actually want to be right now. Then, reflect on possible ways to get there. Set a goal and then give yourself a set date to come back and reflect on the steps you’ve completed towards that goal.
When in doubt, talk about your struggles with complacency with a friend, loved one, or your therapist, or anyone that can hold you accountable while providing support. The first step is to start.
